New Year’s is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.
-Mark Twain
Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.
- Brooks Atkinson
Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.
- Bill Vaughan
The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.
P. J. O’Rourke
Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means, you have met your New Year’s resolution.
- Jay Leno

James Agate
New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.

Eric Zorn
Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
- Bill Vaughan

New Year’s Day is every man’s birthday.
- Charles Lamb

Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right.
- Oprah Winfrey

New Year’s Day now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
- Mark Twain

Judith Crist
Happiness is too many things these days for anyone to wish it on anyone lightly. So let’s just wish each other a bile-less New Year and leave it at that.

Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.
- Anonymous

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions!
- Joey Adams

I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.
- Anais Nin

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.
- Oscar Wilde

I’m a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser.
- Robert Paul

A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous

From New Year’s on the outlook brightens; good humor lost in a mood of failure returns. I resolve to stop complaining.
- Leonard Bernstein

The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes. Unless a particular man made New Year resolutions, he would make no resolutions. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing effective. Unless a man starts on the strange assumption that he has never existed before, it is quite certain that he will never exist afterwards. Unless a man be born again, he shall by no means enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.
- G. K. Chesterton

1. The person who reads too much and uses his brain too little will fall into lazy habits of thinking.
—Albert Einstein

2. Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
—André Gide

3. It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
—Aristotle

4. I’d rather live with a good question than a bad answer.
—Aryeh Frimer

5. We learn something every day, and lots of times it’s that what we learned the day before was wrong.
—Bill Vaughan

6. I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
—Blaise Pascal

7. Don’t ever wrestle with a pig. You’ll both get dirty, but the pig will enjoy it.
—Cale Yarborough

8. An inventor is simply a fellow who doesn’t take his education too seriously.
—Charles F. Kettering

9. Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs.
—Christopher Hampton

10. Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.
—Cyril Connolly

11. Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.
—Dame Edna Everage

12. I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it.
—Edith Sitwell

13. Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for – in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.
—Ellen Goodman

14. The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
—Ellen Parr

15. Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.
—Erica Jong

16. Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.
—Gordon R. Dickson

17. The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.
—Lily Tomlin

18. Never ascribe to malice, that which can be explained by incompetence.
—Napoleon (Hanlon’s Razor)

19. Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is.
—Oscar Wilde

20. When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.
—Thomas Szasz

1. Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.
—John Wilmot

2. What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.
—Oscar Levant

3. Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
—Oscar Wilde

4. I’ve gone into hundreds of [fortune-teller's parlors], and have been told thousands of things, but nobody ever told me I was a policewoman getting ready to arrest her.
—New York City detective

5. When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.
—Norm Crosby

6. Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.
—Kurt Vonnegut

7. Just the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.
—Carl Sagan

8. My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists.
—Jean Rostand

9. Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
—Lily Tomlin

10. I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.
—Richard Lewis

11. We’ve heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true.
—Robert Wilensky

12. If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?
—Scott Adams

13. If the lessons of history teach us anything it is that nobody learns the lessons that history teaches us.
—Anon

34. When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I’m beginning to believe it.
—Clarence Darrow

15. Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it.
—Cullen Hightower

16. There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbors will say.
—Cyril Connolly

17. There’s so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?
—~censored~ Cavett

18. All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.
—H. L. Mencken

19. I don’t mind what Congress does, as long as they don’t do it in the streets and frighten the horses.
—Victor Hugo

10. I took a speed reading course and read ‘War and Peace’ in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
—Woody Allen

1. You can do anything, but not everything.
—David Allen

2. Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
—Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

3. The richest man is not he who has the most, but he who needs the least.
—Unknown Author

4. You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.
—Wayne Gretzky

5. Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.
—Ambrose Redmoon

6. You must be the change you wish to see in the world.
—Gandhi

7. When hungry, eat your rice; when tired, close your eyes. Fools may laugh at me, but wise men will know what I mean.
—Lin-Chi

8. The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking.
—A. A. Milne

9. To the man who only has a hammer, everything he encounters begins to look like a nail.
—Abraham Maslow

10. We are what we repeatedly do; excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.
—Aristotle

11. A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.
—Baltasar Gracian

12. Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the men of old; seek what they sought.
—Basho

13. Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
—Lao-Tze

14. Everyone is a genius at least once a year. The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together.
—Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

15. What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do.
—John Ruskin

16. The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new lands but seeing with new eyes.
—Marcel Proust

17. Work like you don’t need money, love like you’ve never been hurt, and dance like no one’s watching
—Unknown Author

18. Try a thing you haven’t done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time, to figure out whether you like it or not.
—Virgil Garnett Thomson

19. Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
—Will Rogers

20. People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.
—Zig Ziglar

“Now I know I’ve got a heart, because it’s breaking.”

“Sometimes I think I’ll give up trying, and just go completely Russian and sit on a stove and moan all day.”

“I could feel tears brimming and sloshing in me like water in a glass that is unsteady and too full.”

“They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.”

“There’s nothing worse than rejection.  It’s worse than death.  I would wish sometimes for the guy to die because at least then I could go to his grave and visit.”

“The hottest love has the coldest end.”

“When you break up, your whole identity is shattered. It’s like death.”

“The heart was made to be broken.”

“Then with leaden feet which stumbled in a sudden darkness that overwhelmed me I groped my way back to the empty house.”

“Pleasure of love lasts but a moment, Pain of love lasts a lifetime.”

“Those who fear the darkness have no idea what the light can do.”

“Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy.”

“They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.”

“Solitary trees, if they grow at all, grow strong.”

“The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.”

“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.”

“Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable.”

“Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.”

“The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy.”

“Dwelling on the past only blinds you to the future.”

“Everybody is somebody else’s weirdo.”

“They say talk is cheap, I guess that’s why I bought every word you said.”

“The key to human happiness lies within our own state of mind, and so too do the primary obstacles to that happiness.

“You break it, you buy it.Hell no. I break it, slowly leave it there & awkwardly walk away.”

“Killing time murders opportunities.”

“What if there were no hypothetical questions?”

“Plan to be spontaneous – tomorrow.”

“Good looks attract the eyes. Good personality attracts the heart.”

“Cursing can help relieve pain by 50% percent.”

“Cool Fact: You can’t hum if you plug your nose!”

“Don’t think about how much you don’t have,Think about what God has given you! and what all you do have.”

“I like kids, but I don’t think I could eat a whole one.”

“I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re all right now.”

“I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen.”

“Who says I’m not in shape? Round’s a shape, isn’t it?”

“I thought I wanted a long career, turns out I just wanted cash money.”

“My job is definitely secure. No one else wants it.”

“Sometimes I wish life had subtitles (and in a big font)!”

“Peter reminds you to not play stupid with me! I’m better at it.”

“Cleo really wishes she could but, I’m attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer.”

Loving is not just looking at each other, it’s looking in the same direction.

Love at first sight is easy to understand; it’s when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle.

Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time.

Love is giving someone the power to destroy you but trusting them not to.

Love is hard to get into, but even harder to get out of.

Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.

You can fall from the sky, You can Fall From a Tree, but the best way to fall is in love with me.

Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

I never knew how to live, until I knew how to love…………..You!

Love is just love, it can never be explained.

“You can do anything, but not everything.”

“The richest man is not he who has the most, but he who needs the least.”

“You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.”

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.”

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”

“When hungry, eat your rice; when tired, close your eyes. Fools may laugh at me, but wise men will know what I mean.”

“To the man who only has a hammer, everything he encounters begins to look like a nail.”

“We are what we repeatedly do; excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.”

“A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.”

“Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the men of old; seek what they sought.”